So recently I've been going through some tough things, at least it feels like a never-ending nightmare. This is one of the reasons I've delayed posts for a week, and partly because I've been sick suffering from migraines. But I'm back now, and I've seen a new light to life. It's the harder parts of life that make us stronger and what prepares us for what's waiting for us in our lives, both the good and the bad. Soo, I've decided not to focus on the negative things in life, but focus on the positive. They do say that this makes you feel better, and already I do.
Here's a quick update; I am still battling depression, but I am extremely better than I have ever been. I haven't self harmed in a very long time, which is a big achievement for me, and I'm sure for many others who have dealt with it too. I thought I was almost completely free of the dark thoughts, but I realise at times I appear not to be, the only positive to this, is that I've learned that the only problem is my self. By this I mean the dark voice in my head isn't another voice or person. It's mine. It's all the things I'm unhappy about with myself and my life. Now you may be thinking, 'it took you that long to realise?'. However, it really did and does because the voice is completely and utterly like an entirely different person.
As for my anxiety, it has took me a long time to realise that what I was thinking was a sickness is really my anxiety, I didn't know that some of the things that come with anxiety were what I was really experiencing. These things include feeling dizziness a lot of the time, feeling sick, insomnia which I've had for years now. But I will be posting soon about it more in depth and detail. I just really didn't think that it could have been my anxiety, and knowing that it is upsets me because of how far I've come with my depression, but how I didn't realise my anxiety was getting worse. I don't really know the cause, I've been going through a lot of tough things lately, and I'm not quite ready to talk about them yet. Only Ravi knows at this point(and for those who didn't know or may be new, Ravi is my boyfriend) So I've really just been coming to terms with it myself and he has been very supportive of me which I'm so grateful for.
On the brighter side, I see now what I need to do. I need to change all the things in my life that I'm unhappy with in order to really hit that road to recovery and beat it completely this time, I need to stay positive like in this very moment. Despite that there may not be many who know what's going on when I put on a smile to the rest of the world, I feel like I have the support of the world, yet only two people know my secret.
Believe me when I say this, but things do get better in life, whether it be new people, a new job, new place, anything. Just focus on the positive, not the negative. Always remember, you are beautiful, no matter what anyone says(song moment here, if you know what I mean comment below haha) but you really are. Be true to yourself and honest, change what you feel you're unhappy with in your life, and, just always, always know you matter in the world. Many love you and care for you, life goes on, and there will be ups and down. But know that I, your family and friends, will be here for you every step of the way, both the good and bad times.
We learn from our mistakes, and become a better version of the old us.
Soo there's my quick update, and I'm back! I will be making sure posts are up on the scheduled days I promise! I am working on scheduling some posts just for good measures. So if there are any posts you would like to see please comment or find me on twitter or instagram! :) @ georgeaaxo
Your all worthy to this world, and deserve to be a part of it always
Georgia x
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